I Never Told You
by 1357wombat
Summary: One accident, two outcomes. Two one shots, but it makes sense to post them together. They will be different, please read both! Please review as well :)
1. Tom

**Just two one shots, but** **two different takes on similar, but not the same, situations. I will probably post the other part tonight or tomorrow morning. You don't need to read both, although I'd be eternally grateful if you did! Please, please, please review, it means SO much to me :) Even if you want to tell me it's rubbish, please do, it doesn't take long!**

* * *

Tom hates this. He stands on the edge of the crowd of doctors and nurses gathered around her bed, his fists clenched. He knows what's happening to her, and he knows he can't help her. No one can help Sam now. The muttering of Zoe and Ash is driving him crazy - do they think that he can't hear them, that he doesn't know what's going on? She's been arrested for nearly an hour now, and they're about to give up.

He doesn't even realise it, but his face is hot and wet from the tears falling freely down his face. He has been staring at her for so long that when Zoe touches him gently on the arm, he jumps.  
"I'm sorry, Tom, we couldn't do anything else," she murmurs.  
"I know," he whispers through the tears, as his feet carry him instinctively to her bedside. The group of medics leaves the room, and for once, resus is silent. Tom sits alone with Sam's body. He strokes her hair, squeezes her hand, kisses her forehead, waiting for her to wake up, to say something, even to hit him, hard, because he deserves it.

Because the accident was his fault. If he hadn't shouted at her this morning (it seemed like years ago now), if he hadn't sat sulking on the way to work, then this would never have happened. She had been so angry with him that she forgot to look at the road, she didn't see the car they were heading for at fifty miles an hour. And now she was... Not alive... He couldn't bring himself to think of her as dead, and he _was_ alive, when he should be the one lying there, not moving, not breathing.

Zoe returns, on her own this time, and says softly, "They need to move her, Tom."  
Tom doesn't reply, but he hands Zoe Sam's organ donor card. She takes it, a sad, sympathetic look in her eyes, and opens the door to reveal the porters waiting to take Sam downstairs.

They don't give their condolences, after all, it wouldn't bring her back, but they offer to let him come with them if he wants. He accepts, keeping hold of her hand the whole time: it's the only warm part of her now. He doesn't want pity, he doesn't want anyone thinking he can't cope, although he doesn't know _how_ he's going to go on now, so he avoids the eyes of the people who stop what they are doing to watch him go downstairs

He continues to sit with her while he's waiting for them to lay her out. Then he gets up and begins to talk, to say all the things he didn't have a chance to before. No. That was a lie. He had had the chance to tell her, but he hadn't, and he loathes himself for that. So he says it all now.  
"I'm so, so sorry Sam. Sorry for everything, sorry for shouting this morning. I'm sorry that I never said I was sorry. I never said how much I loved you Sam. I still do."  
It's only a matter of time before he's crying again, choking on his words as he desperately tries to tell her everything. He kicks the wall, once, twice, twenty times, until his foot hurts like hell, but it's nothing compared to the ache in his heart.

He sits back down, looking at all her cuts from the accident, ranging from big to minuscule. She's still gorgeous.  
"I never told you how beautiful you are, Sam, how perfect. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." It doesn't matter that she can't hear him. He wishes that she was just pretending to sleep, and she'd open her eyes and tell him she'd heard everything, and she'd laugh at his awkwardness, and then he'd have to kiss her to shut her up, because she would be driving him mad with love and lust, _again_.

A nurse comes in: he can see in the corner of his eye that it's Charlie. Tom doesn't acknowledge him, so Charlie clears his throat. "Tom, you've got to let her go now," he says, gently.  
Tom knows this, he knows that Sam would want him to go, so he presses one last kiss to Sam's pale, cold lips. "I love you, Sam, goodbye," he whispers, then he leaves the room.


	2. Sam

**Okay, the second part, sorry it's so late, been without Internet for a few days :O this time it's from Sam's point of view. Please read and review, it makes me so happy :) enjoy...**

* * *

Sam would never admit it to anyone, especially not Tom, but she needs him now, more than ever, but he's lying in the bed in front of her with machines breathing for him. She wishes that someone, anyone, else was lying there, because then at least she'd have Tom with her. She misses him so much, even though it's only been one day. At the moment, it's four in the morning, but Sam has vowed not to sleep until Tom wakes; she knows he will, and she knows that if she sleeps, that will be when he wakes up, and she needs to be there for him, to say how sorry she is.

"Tom," she whispers. "Tom, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about this morning." It hardly seems fair that she is sitting there, almost unscathed, while he lies in coma, and all because she was too stubborn and too proud to concede, and to forgive him, because he'd had every right to be angry. She has to tell him these things now, because she would never let him hear her say them when he was actually listening.

"Tom, I never told you how much I love you and need you, but I really need you now, so wake up, please just wake up." She is on the verge of tears, but she's too exhausted. She suspects that someone from the ED who is working the night shift will come up and visit her in the Intensive Care Unit, and she'll be rude to them, like she was to Fletch earlier, because she is tired, tense, and terrified.

Deep down, she is scared, although she won't let herself believe it, that he won't wake up. And what will she do then?  
"I never told you about the time I thought I was pregnant, did I?" Sam murmurs. "I didn't tell you because I was, well, petrified and I was so not ready, but I knew that you'd be so disappointed if I didn't want it, so I couldn't even tell you. I wish I had, Tom. I promise that when you're back, we'll start a family, get married, I know you want to," she smiles weakly. "I love you, Tom." She can't keep her eyes open any longer, and before she realises what is happening, she has drifted off into a restless sleep in the chair beside his bed.

* * *

Someone is shaking her. She groans. She has forgotten what has happened, and her back aches from being hunched in the plastic white chair. Then she remembers. She looks up. Zoe is standing next to her, a concerned look on her face.

"Oh God, why did they let me sleep?!" Sam cries. She looks at Tom, still with all the tubes in him, and the steady beep, beep, beep of his heart on the monitor, and knows nothing has changed, but she still hates herself for falling asleep.  
"Sam, from what I've heard, if you had stayed awake any longer, you probably would have nearly died," Zoe says, shaking her head. "It's okay, you know, to sleep, to sort yourself out. Go home, have a shower, eat something, change your clothes. Tom won't mind if you're not here if-" she catches the look on Sam's face and corrects herself.  
"-_When_ he wakes up." She hands Sam the coffee that she had originally come up here to give her.  
Sam shakes her head. "I can't," she says weakly.  
"Sam, if you don't, we'll end up admitting you, and then you won't be able to see him at all. Go on, it won't take long. I'll stay here if you like,"  
Sam thinks about it. She's too tired to argue, so she reluctantly gets up and leaves the room.

* * *

Sam returns to the hospital, feeling mildly better than she had before. She rushes up to intensive care, where Zoe is sitting, talking to one of the nurses. Zoe looks worried. Sam hurries over to stand by the bed, kissing Tom as best she can around the tubes. Zoe stands up to leave; she's got work to do, but as she is about the go, she hesitates in the doorway.

"Sam, what are you going to do, if the worst happens?" She asks softly.  
"It won't," Sam replies stubbornly. She doesn't need to say anymore. Zoe sighs and exits, closing the door behind her.

Sam turns back to Tom.  
"Please, Tom, you have to wake up. Come on!" she yells, hitting his chest. Tears leak out of her eyes. Suddenly, she's losing it, in a big way, and she's hardly coherent as she screams angry, chaotic words at him. She cries and cries, and then she loses the energy completely. She sobs, her head on his chest, just waiting for him to sit up and comfort her, like he has every other time she needed him. She loves him so much.  
"Tom, please, I love you, I need you," she whispers(?).  
And then, amazingly, she feels something move under her head. She brings her head up, and sees his chest convulsing. His body tries to cough, and his eyes open, he starts to remove the tube from his mouth; he seems to be able to breathe for himself. Sam watches, stunned, all her medical training forgotten.  
"Sam," he says hoarsely.  
"Hello," she says, crying again, but this time from dazed joy. "Welcome back."


End file.
